"Life-Changing Magic?"
In preparation for retirement my financial planner gave me a worksheet to list my revenues and expenses. Naturally, one of the expense items was clothing. The reality, I shared with her, was that I didn’t “need’ anything in this category. I have enough clothes, shoes and accessories for the foreseeable future, no matter what climate or lifestyle I choose.
A short while later I read an article in the New York Times by Ann Patchett about not shopping for anything but groceries and necessities for a year. As the new year approached I decided to make a similar choice. I will buy food and household supplies and refill makeup and skin care products. I will buy gifts. And although I will make every attempt to use the public library as much as possible, I will buy books. I will definitely not buy the Instant Pot I viewed on line several times. It duplicates pots I already have.
When I Googled “no shopping” there were several other articles and, ironically, ads for buying books on the subject. One of the authors extended her choice to not having coffee out, going so far as to chastise herself for forgetting and having a latte with a friend. I am not giving up meals out with friends or movies, concerts, or the theater. My focus is on reducing the number of things I accumulate.
This is not a New Year’s resolution. I am making a choice, and if I change my mind I will not have “failed.” I am also acutely aware of how fortunate I am to be in this place of choosing not to have things, rather than not being able to afford them.
This decision is about my lifestyle. It is about taking the time to examine what is truly important to me. I have always advised students and those I have mentored and coached to first consider their values when making career choices. I have ended one career, but I still have many choices to make – where to live, how to spend my time. I believe it will be easier to make these choices if my life is less cluttered with things.
Many of the articles I read linked “not shopping” to “decluttering” and shared a feeling of liberation from getting rid of things. I referenced Marie Kondo, who said we should only keep what gives us joy, when I wrote about packing up my office. https://www.riseupleadershipcoaching.com/blog/stuff-of-memories
Unfortunately, I have not yet applied this principle to my house, where closets I dread opening are piled with things I have not touched since moving 9 years ago.
This excess “stuff” feels oppressive. George Carlin, in his famous routine about stuff, said “a house is just a place for our stuff with a cover on it.” Hardly sound like joy. When tied to planning a new chapter in my life, I am hoping the process of decluttering will becomes less like a chore and more like what Kondo calls “life-changing magic.”
As I forge an identity not tied to my former job title, how will this be reflected in my physical space? How will it affect how I use my time? I was recently browsing after-Christmas sales on the web, filling what Patchett calls “those idle moments.” I put an item in my cart, but didn’t complete the purchase. The next day I got a message urging me not to leave this bargain behind. While it may have been a bargain, I realized that I had only shopped out of boredom. According to Patchett, “The things we buy and buy and buy are like a thick coat of Vaseline smeared on glass: We can see some shapes out there, light and dark, but in our constant craving for what we may still want, we miss life’s details.” My goal is to relearn how to “be” in the moment.
Several years ago, for health reasons, I stopped eating wheat. At first, I craved bread and pasta constantly. The aroma of the chocolate chip cookies that seemed to be served at every meeting was torture. Gradually, I simply noticed the foods I don’t eat without desire. I wonder if this experience will be similar.
The choice is mine.