Holding

A non-profit executive director I admire recently included this reference to “holding” in her self-evaluation:

               “In psychology, the term has a specific meaning. It describes the way another person, often an authority figure, contains and interprets what’s happening in times of uncertainty. Containing refers to the ability to soothe distress and interpreting to the ability to help others make senses of a confusing predicament... In groups whose leaders can hold, mutual support abounds, work continues, and a new vision eventually emerges. When leaders cannot hold, and we can’t hold each other, anxiety, anger, and fragmentation ensue.”

               Gianpiero Petriglieri, “The Psychology Behind Effective Crisis Leadership,” Harvard Business Review, April 2020.  

When I first started interviewing for college presidencies, I remember describing my leadership style as being like the “good hands of Allstate.” I saw my job as creating an environment in which others would flourish. I would give them the safety they needed to innovate. I would give them credit for success and take responsibility for failure. I would be their advocate for the resources they needed to grow professionally.  My commitment to holding was tested on 9/11 and during the recession of 2008, but never wavered.  

About halfway through my tenure in my second presidency, my 44-year-old Vice President of Administration died unexpectedly early one Saturday morning. I was as shocked and devastated as everyone else on campus.  This vital, talented young man with a booming voice and an infectious laugh was someone I respected and relied on. I had to cope with my own grief while helping his friends and colleagues get through theirs. At the same time, I had to make sure the fiscal, maintenance, IT, and human resources operations he had supervised continued without interruption.

On Monday morning, I called together the staff in his divisions. Making no attempt to hide my tears, I told them what I knew and didn’t know. I assured them that they could take time to mourn, reminded them that grief takes many forms, and asked them to help each other get essential work done. What made me know that I had been successful at “holding” was how many of them went out of their way to support and console me.  The “holding” was mutual.   

Fortunately, I never had to deal with a crisis like COVID. I am so proud of my former colleagues as I read about how they are leading their campuses. They have always understood the need to “hold.”