City Life

This past month the New York Times republished a book review of The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs. I read the review as I was writing about my old neighborhood for a collection of essays for my children. I wrote about life on “the stoop,” where mothers cared for each other’s children and old women did errands for their friends. Small shopkeepers knew their customers’ preferences and ran accounts for them. Julie the grocer sliced our cheese thin and Carmine the butcher knew what cut of meat my dad liked. One day a neighbor met me at the entrance to our building. They had seen a stranger, she explained, so all the children were being escorted to their apartments. Since my mom was busy with my younger brothers, she had come for me.

I remembered reading Jacobs in he 60’s and how her vision of city life resonated. As I wrote, however, I realized that to my children and grandchildren I might as well have been describing life on another planet. They grew up in the suburbs, devoid of this kind of community life.

I was not happy about moving to the suburbs, but it was hard to argue with taking this step toward fulfilling the “American Dream.” The first thing that became apparent is that our back yards were isolating. Children couldn’t get together and play spontaneously in a back yard, they had to knock on a door or be invited. Young mothers had no one to talk to. If you drove down our street when we first moved in, you would see these mothers congregating on their front steps or out in the street, trying to create the kind of community they had left behind.

As the children grew older, every activity required a parent to transport them. In our Bronx neighborhood, I walked to the community center for structured activities or to “hang out.” I could walk to friends’ houses, the pizza place, the park, and a movie theater. My children had to be driven to the mall.

My children grew up believing that a city was no place to raise a child. I remember it as a place rich in friendship and culture, that fostered community and caring.