Work-Life Balance
In part due to the pandemic, there has been lot of talk lately about work-life balance. People working remotely, often from suburban or rural areas, spared lengthy commutes, have discovered a new quality of life and have begun considering making the changes permanent. Of course this mostly applies to people with white collar jobs who have the time and financial resources to even consider the changes they might want. And women juggling work, childcare, and home schooling may have different thoughts about how their lives have been impacted by working from home.
How to achieve work-life balance is a question often asked of women working outside the home and one I used to discuss frequently with colleagues and mentees. My answer was, there is no such thing as work-life balance, only perpetual imbalance. Life is more like a teeter-totter, usually weighted in one direction or the other, rarely in perfect stasis. At any given time, either work or home/family/friendships is more demanding and the other gets less attention. When it’s work, it’s often hard for those getting less care to understand. My children still talk about how I “never” went to their school concerts or car-pooled to after school activities. They don’t remember the hour and a half I drove on Sunday mornings to make up for my unavailability during the week or the little league games I rushed to in my suit and high heels. But if my parents were alive, they might remind me of the time I told them they could not see their grandchildren unless they drove to my house, because I was too busy writing my dissertation.
When one’s personal obligations need to take precedence, the workplace is often silently disapproving at best. How lucky I was that my first boss insisted that I stay home with a sick child, knowing that it didn’t change my competence or professionalism. His attitude stayed with me as I became a leader, able to give my direct reports the same comfort and set the tone for my workplace.
One of the men in my writing group has gotten to the part of his memoir where he is focused on building his business, rather than his wife and young sons. In retrospect, he feels a sense of loss and guilt. And yet, when his successes were being written up in the local papers, I do not imagine anyone ever asked him about his work-life balance. Fortunately, times have changed. Young men are making career decisions that allow for more time with their families.
Although I am retired, my life is still a teeter-totter. Now family and friends are on one side, writing and volunteer work on the other. I have more control, but not necessarily more balance.