"Learn by Going Where I Have to Go."

A friend of mine just sent me copy of a book, What Falls Away, Writers over 60 on Writing and Death. The title of the book comes from a poem by Theodore Roethke, “The Waking,” the last line of which is “I learn by going where I have to go.”  

I don’t know how I would have described myself before my first full time job, when my boss would simply throw an assignment at me with the expectation that I would figure it out. And because he expected it of me, I did. On my first day of work, he asked me to write a program proposal for media technology for approval by the State University of New York. When I demurred because I knew nothing about media technology or about writing program proposals, he directed me to a sample from another program and told me to come back to him if I had a problem. After a while, I got used to his methods and forgot there was any other way to learn. But there were two factors that were critical to my being able to adapt. The first was his confidence in me and the second was that when I did have a problem his door was open and there was no judgment.

As I grew professionally and began to supervise others, I assumed that they too would learn as I did. I assured them of my confidence in them and, like my first boss, provided assistance without judgment when they needed it. But I discovered that for some people that was not enough. They simply needed more upfront direction. Unlike me, they actually read the instructions before starting a project! They wanted maps before going. I had to recognize other styles as different, not lesser, and accommodate them.

I have gotten more cautious as I age. I am somewhat less of a risk taker, less inclined to “learn by going where I have to go.” But I will always be grateful for the adventures I’ve had.