The Cycle of Life

On a recent trip to a family wedding, I learned that my uncle had died. Since I was already halfway across the country, I could not attend his funeral, but took comfort in the fact that I had said good-bye the last time I saw him. And at the same time, I learned that his granddaughter is pregnant. She and her husband are expecting a little girl next spring, bringing my aunt and cousins joy in their time of sorrow.

On the way to the wedding, I stopped to see my grandchildren at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, where one is a senior and the other a sophomore. It was hard to believe that the young women showing me the campus, the business school, the area around the Capitol, and their apartments, who made sure I was entertained, made dinner reservations and proudly introduced me to their roommates and friends (They were excited that they had a grandma “young enough” to visit and walk around.) were the same curly headed babies and toddlers whose pictures dot my walls. I have friends whose grandchildren are infants, yet here are mine, almost the same age I was when I had their mother. My next generational role is great-grandmother, although I hope not too soon.

My 11-month-old great nephew was the ring bearer at the wedding. While his cousins pulled him down the aisle in a little blue wagon, the only rings he cared about were his Cheerios. There were infants, toddlers, and teenagers there, family members and children of the bride and groom’s friends. Now that my parents’ generation is gone, I was either the oldest guest at the wedding or close to the oldest, although I often try to claim that my grey haired, distinguished looking brother is older.

After the wedding I went to visit cousins who had not been there. Because of my uncle’s death, we talked a lot about our own. What plans have we made or not made? How do we discuss this with our children? Lately, the cycle of life seems to have speeded up.