The Platinum Rule

In response to a query from the New York Times about the codes we live by, reader Kristy McCay wrote that she lives by the “platinum rule,” or treat others as they wish to be treated, rather than the “golden rule,” or treat others as you wish to be treated. The platinum rule, she added, “requires a willingness to learn about others’ lives.”

I was unfamiliar with the platinum rule or the 1998 book by that name by Tony Allesandra and Michael J. O’Connor. However, I recalled how often I had spoken to faculty colleagues about the need to respect the differences between the learning styles that made us comfortable and our students’ preferences. I was pleased that McCay cited a similar concern:

For example, as an extrovert, I enjoyed talking with my professors, going to office hours and even loved being called on in class. If I treated all of my students the way I wanted to be treated, I would annoy (at best) or alienate some of my introverted, shy or anxious students. Instead of making assumptions to treat them as I’d like to be treated, I get to know students as individuals and treat them as they’d like to be treated, creating a richer learning environment.

The switch to virtual learning during the pandemic has highlighted these differences. Many teachers stress only what has been lost, rather than acknowledging that on line learning is actually better for some students. Because so many of today’s teachers had the luxury of full time, in-person learning experiences, that is what they know and want to replicate. In fact, that same week The Times published an article about districts that will maintain their on-line schools and why some students prefer them. It featured a sixth grader with a health condition who “used to hate going to school because he felt apprehensive around other students.” According to his mother, he was thriving in a virtual environment and had even made friends on line.

Granted, on line learning requires trained, dedicated teachers and, for children, parental support, not to mention the availability of appropriate technology for children and adult learners. However, we would be abiding by the wrong rule if we assumed that only one kind of learning served all learners.