Your Wake Defines You

In my last post I wrote about the platinum rule, one of the “codes to live by” written by readers of the NY Times. The other code that resonated with me was “Your Wake Defines You,” by William Dock from Seattle. He wrote:

Inside a harbor on Fidalgo Island, gateway to Washington’s San Juan Islands, I recall seeing a small rectangular sign on the end of a dock declaring “Your Wake Defines You” in red, black and white lettering, intended for boats that create havoc if they pass too quickly. This has also become my mantra.

No matter what I am doing, I always pay attention to the impact my choices have on others — from close relationships to what goes in my trash. If my impact is too destructive, I change course and find another way to achieve my goal — or, when necessary, forgo that goal altogether.

That’s not always easy, for shortcuts are tempting and some opportunities are tough to pass up. And, granted, there are at times impacts that you cannot see. However, if we constantly place value and attention on increasing the benefits that others get from our existence, or on reducing our negative impacts, the world would be a more habitable — and more humane — place.

Dock is right in citing the challenges of this creed. It is so much easier to focus on the here and now, rather than a future we cannot see. When my girls were children I did my best to transmit the values of integrity and compassion, but I could not foresee with any certainty the women they would become. When I tried to be a leader with those same values, I had no idea if I was making a difference unless a student or colleague, often years later, told me that I had inspired them.

I am fanatic about recycling, but then one of my daughters pointed out how much waste I could avoid if I just ordered fewer packages online. Reducing my impact on climate change requires personal choices that may make my life a little less convenient.

COVID has given us an opportunity to assess what matters to us, and hopefully to commit to a “wake” that acknowledges our impact on others.

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